Humorous Motorcycle Tips..Be Careful with those racing games!

Riding tips:

Lafferty's secret to Enduro riding: Zero every check, never break down and the rest will fall into place.

Contrary to the popular notion, the best way to dry off a freshly washed bike is not with a 5th gear glory blast down a sudsy dark alley.

Regular maintenance is the key to reliability; irregular maintenance is the key to great exercise.

The 3-percent rule: If you want to go faster, ride with people who are 3-percent faster than you.

The other 3-percent rule: If you want to have fun, ride with people who are 3-percent slower than you.

You've got to finish to win. Of course, you've got to be fast to win too, otherwise everybody would be doing it.

There is no physical training regimen so strict that it can't be undermined by a rigorous program of deferred motorcycle maintenance.

There are old racers and there are bold racers, but there are no old, bold racers who don't walk funny.

Patience is a virtue of many racers. Unfortunately, it's also a virtue of a lot of losers.

The wise racer only pisses off the people he can beat.

The secret of successful race tuning is knowing when to start riding and stop tuning.

If you're going to pray, pray for FACTORY intervention. Divine intervention isn't much use, since the guy upstairs isn't really all that up on the proper set-up.

You can't 2 ½ a triple. At least not a second time.

Webb's first law of sportsmanship: A man never stands so tall as when he stoops to let the air out of a competitor's tire.

Never underestimate the power of good old-fashioned intimidation.

The race goes to the swift. But sometimes none of them show up, and the rest of us have a shot at it.

The more complete your on-board tool-kit, the more likely it is that all your trail riding buddies will expect you to fix everything that breaks on their bikes.

A good rider can overcome marginal equipment. However, even the best equipment can't overcome a marginal rider.

Ruts are like side-panel screws: just when you think you're in the right groove, you get cross-threaded.

To determine the proper approach velocity to a double jump, multiply the required distance in feet by the number of spectators present in the landing zone and convert to mph. Adjust to taste.

Blood in your stool is nature's way of suggesting that you rethink your spring rates.

Be a pal and offer to clean your buddy's air filter before that big Sunday ride. Full-coverage grease: the Great Equalizer.

Brain-teaser: In an off-road race, spectators typically gather around... A: safe, predictable sections that allow plenty of safe show-boating for the crowd.  B: open, unmarked mine shafts.

There are places on Earth that ATV's simply won't fit. Unfortunately, ATV riders aren't aware of this.

Gravity intensifies with the installation of new levers.

You only have one chance to make a first-turn impression.

LaPorte's Law: Any restaurant that won't let you in wearing a clean FMF t-shirt doesn't deserve your patronage.

Careful maintenance and preparation is critical to making your playbike reliable enough to tow your buddy's rat bike to the truck every weekend.

Winning tuners never have "left over" parts.

Thanks to: http://www.blackdogdualsport.com/cycle_humor.htm for the tips!!

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